Why aren't the Poles allowed to address their wartime trauma? (WARNING, non-PC take, I'm not spreading hate there, though)

 Let's face it.
Polish people were victimized by many countries and ethnicities. Because there is certain taboo subject going on in Poland, Poles aren't allowed to address that trauma under the threat of penalty and various other false accusations. But statistically, Polish nation is the most traumatized nation in Europe, source: https://scienceinpoland.pl/en/news/news%2C99283%2Cbecause-wwii-poles-are-most-traumatised-nation-world-says-new-study.html;
Communist taboo surrounding Polish people, took a toll, not to mention, Communists themselves contributed to that wartime trauma of Polish people.
Not to mince the words, Polish people were murdered respectively:
- by Germans (and even Austrians, don't forget)
- by Ukrainians
- by Lithuanians
- by Russians
- by Azeris
- by Latvians
And miscellanous ethnicities that killed Poles were also: individual Communists of Jewish, Georgian, Belarusian etc. ethnicities.
Sources of my claims, oh there are a plenty:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wola_massacre
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polish_prisoners_in_Nazi_concentration_camps
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Zamo%C5%9B%C4%87
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Massacres_of_Poles_in_Volhynia_and_Eastern_Galicia
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ponary_massacre
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polish_Operation_of_the_NKVD
https://www.ihgjlm.com/2023/09/19/azeri-massacre-of-polish-and-jewish-civilians-in-1944/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Stalin
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lavrentiy_Beria
https://pl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salomon_Morel
https://pl.wikipedia.org/wiki/J%C3%B3zef_R%C3%B3%C5%BCa%C5%84ski
etc.
Some Poles indeed out of retribution, committed anti-Jewish, anti-Belarusian etc. pogroms, which is absolutely abhorrent and I don't support any of this, while reading somewhere that e.g. Jedwabne and Kielce were in fact Nazi German and Soviet Russian provocations. Not to come across as someone, who condones what Poles did. But Poland historically, was the most attacked country in Europe, most partitioned, most bullied country in Europe. We shouldn't conclude that Poles were the perpetrators, when they fell the victims of war multiple war crimes, rape, torture and killings. Also, as for Jewish people, there were quite plenty of Poles, who despite of death penalty, saved Jewish lives during the Nazi German occupation and got praised multiple times as Righteous Among the Nations.
The biggest shame is that not many Polish survivors (including my maternal grandparents who knew the history) survived, so our enemies are prone towards rewriting the Polish history and that's deeply upsetting me! During Covid lockdowns, talking about history was a tough subject for me, still - and when I talked to my grandmother I was afraid of the history talks... but fortunately my mother always listened carefully to her.
I hope the Western world realizes this, that we owe no explanation to other people. I hope Germans stop dissociating themselves from Nazi and Hitler's crimes.

People tell me I'm gonna die from Covid, I'm acting like I'm gonna die from Covid. (this is why I experiment socially on people)

 I never got what I wanted, never saw my beloved band Rush in Poland, never got safety, never got no threat of war between probably Poland and Russia, never got assured about not living in the times, when AI disinfo against public figures (e.g. deepfakes) will be rampant and normalized. This is the definition of character assasination, as I said, revenge corn, esp. AI-generated. I was groomed by a p*dophile (and a dangerous f*tishist) online when I was 13, thanks to being a Rush fan at that age and "he was as well" (also coincidentally a right-wing s*um who hated women and girls, when they didn't give him what he wants) and I'm gonna speak out about it, because I'm still embarrassed about what happened. I don't think for a while of suing him, it's not USA, it's Europe, after all, unless he victimizes children further, but I'm not gonna hide him, because I'm afraid of retribution. I'm waiting for the good moment and some of the witnessed informing me about the court case, if he continues offending. I live far away from him, luckily. I was as a victim in the court case, when I was 11 and my bullies same age and older. They got their verdicts, though. It was so lengthy and an another brick in the wall. I'm afraid of undergoing it again and reliving my trauma. The only reason I haven't acted out, is because "blah blah blah, my father committed suicide and I'm psychotic". GET THE F*CKING TREATMENT, INSTEAD OF RUINING MY LIFE! YOU NEED IT MORE THAN I DO! I was raised in patriarchal Catholic Church, so my voice, as a "meekly woman who is supposed to be quiet at church" wasn't heard, just like the Polish voice wasn't heard, when Poles were victimized by Germany and Russia. You lying people told me I'm gonna die of Covid at the hospital. So I'm acting like this. I'm showcasing my darkest and most violent sense of humor, partially inspired by The Witcher games and books and I love and I will always love now. Wanted to know the truth about me? Here it is. I still carry that trauma I had from my relatives (due to intergenerational trauma and the aftermath of it), as a girl and as a woman. Hate me more, you are capable of this. I don't care, you would tell me that I will die of Covid, if I don't stay at home, don't take unneeeded "medication" for it etc. You are lying and I will call you out for who you are.
But the dramatic things in my life, wouldn't happen, if there wasn't an enabling situation. Sorry to be out of line here: Rush, notoriously a libertarian, with right-wing tendencies band, aforementioned by Barry Miles as such - source: https://rushvault.com/2011/07/27/barry-miles-1974-nme-article-excerpt/, apparently bullying the girl group The Runaways, even when they were quite underage (I wonder if it was sexualized or not, I hope not, because many rockstars have been sexually abusing girls and women and making them take illegal drugs) - source: https://www.stereogum.com/2272128/cherie-currie-explains-how-rush-sabotaged-the-runaways-in-1977-i-couldve-been-paralyzed/news/, that was also the moment, when I accidentally confronted Neil Peart's sister - Nancy Peart Burkholder on FB, asked her series of questions about whether Rush members are nice or whether they love Poland and when she got quite aggressive with me, I made series of off-color jokes about hating Poland, so she would approve of me, yet then she blocked me, getting weird accusations towards Neil Peart (that he used... AI to "victimize that aforementioned woman from Denver"), from Catriona Lee Monthieth (Solaris Blueraven) - source: https://www.therushforum.com/index.php?/topic/101489-solaris-blueraven-neil-peart-michael-mosbach-and-mind-control-wtf/page/2/, constantly saying that no females have been fans of Rush.
I would like to verify this band, see if they are nice guys or maybe awful men, like every single man I have encountered. There is also the weird symbolism that as a woman not belonging to those secret boys' clubs, I find plain creepy, even if I'm not religious and never in fact was. (evident on Clockwork Angels and Signals). I'd like to know more, from curiosity, because I still love this band.
For your info, very transparent info, I know every single Rush album. Chronologically: Rush, Fly By Night, Caress of Steel, 2112, A Farewell to Kings, Hemispheres, Permanent Waves, Moving Pictures, Signals, Grace Under Pressure, Power Windows, Hold Your Fire, Presto, Roll the Bones, Counterparts, Test For Echo, Vapor Trails, Feedback, Snakes and Arrows and Clockwork Angels, so you don't misogynistically gatekeep me and prevent me from being a Rush fan. And who have expelled me for what? For telling the truth about what Polish people have gone through over history and talking about Warsaw Uprising (not to be confused with Warsaw Ghetto Uprising everyone knows about)? Let me in, I'm not bad. But I'm yet telling the truth about my adventures with that fandom that claims there are no women and no Polish fans. I have to, after Covid lockdowns I got nothing to lose.
I think I'm not worthy of love, even... many times... that I will never find anybody, because I'm ugly, nobody talks to me in Poland, because of that weird aura "I want my privacy, I won't smile" etc. But maybe it's good, I won't be stigmatized with AIDS and unwanted pregnancy and men have tendencies towards insulting women way too much. At the same time I was told by my Catholic father I should have no boyfriend and such and I gotta stay at the college. Don't ask me about getting a job for a while, until I don't establish myself as a musician, there are "Janusze biznesu" and misogynists there.
BTW, my father is still like Emhyr Var Emreis. Pretends to care about me, but as a lying Catholic, he has something sinister to hide, I suspect. I don't even trust my father, whose family according to my mother, mistreated him and abused him and he doesn't recognize it. I didn't even visit my paternal grandparents for this reason. So he has a grudge against me and my mother. My mother might be biased, but after all she miscarried and I'm her second child, where my grandparents lived, it all happened. I have no siblings, I'm the only child and the only children are stereotyped and hated, so I feel not safe. I'm tired of constant family feuds like this.
Therefore, I never got what I wanted. No warmth, no safety... I thought Rush fandom is gonna provide me warmth, safety, replace my forsaken family members (even Geddy Lee looks like me, could pass as my relative, had I taken DNA test, probably it would be true). I wanted Geddy Lee to be my Geralt of Rivia figure, as I'm musically talented like him and it's destiny. Alas, I got hated, spat on and rejected and I could save myself with forming a Rush tribute band in Poland, if it would be approved. But alas I know that Polish fans are not recognized in the Rush fandom, belittled as "Nazi accomplices", though Poland was a victim. I was blunt and honest this time. I don't know what else my enemies want from me.

Why do I speak out?

 As you know, I'm a beginning radical feminist, who got traumatized by the turmoil of Covid lockdowns, wars, AI takeover, deepfake disinformation etc. I gained a lot of detractors. because of the fact that I was extremely blunt. My bluntness lead me to isolation and exclusion from my beloved fandoms and communities. Because I said that Polish people also saved Jews and themselves were victims of the WWII, I was expelled from Rush fandom. Because I said that males should stop victimizing females, as a novice radical feminist, I was excluded from the conservative fraction of gender-critical feminists. I have to learn how to live with the social exclusion I faced for my views, the sheer persecution. The only thing I'm left with, is my dark and violent sense of humor. I will continue asking provocative questions and as I say, committing social experiments. I want to know, what society is formed of, what kind of lies does it believe in.
But let me tell you. I SPEAK OUT! Why? Because namely of the history of Poland. As we know, Poland was severely occupied, Polish citizens were impoverished, Polish women (my main focus) were raped by Soviets and Nazis. They couldn't speak out of decades about what happened to them. They were honestly, ashamed, as if it was their crime.The new narrative attempts to blame Poland for the Holocaust as well, so Putin will have it easier to invade Poland, than ever. Because we aren't allowed to speak to this day.
Speaking out helps me to determine, who is my real friend or who is my real foe. People are opposed to my provocative way of speaking, because I'm actually exposing those people, at the risk of being classified as a conspiracy theorist.
I'm in need of exposing hateful against women religions (it turned out that even Catholicism is opposed to Poland), against injustice that women face and also my victimized country faced and will face, if detractors of Poland will repeat Putin's lies about Poland and its history and what was happening since the AI takeover of the world, since 2019.
But enough about this. I just want to return to the Rush fandom and reconcile with the conservative fraction of gender-critical feminists, if it's all possible. Because I didn't do anything wrong, I expressed either my anger or mood for jokes, usually. Those are my coping mechanisms in this cruel, heavy world that is only good for writing death metal songs, because everything is so gloomy.
I will continue though speaking out and nobody will silence me. Silence is complicity, as we know.