I just watched "how to be miserable forever" videos.

And frankly, I don't care, anymore. I lost a glimpse of happiness I could have, because of my very existence in Poland, which is the most neurotic country I have ever known of, extremely rigid, especially regarding women (but I still think I would be worse off in Muslim countries). Everybody just hates my country, especially Geddy Lee, who wrote his biography depicting all of us Poles as literal monsters towards his nation. And Rush was one of the few things that have me happiness, actual happiness. But Geddy doesn't care about his Polish fans, does he? He would rather see us Poles being nuked by Putin... and he falsely supported Ukraine. I will miss the days, when I hung out with Rush fans, instead of being sorta depressed and sitting behind the screen all day. But I must admit, people (esp. men) IRL are being extreme jerks to me, always using vulgar words. I want to explain that Poles just got intragenerational trauma from wars and communism, but sometimes I just can't. I demand courtesy and some smiles or some interesting hobbies from them. I cannot even form my dreamed about band, which would sound like I aim to make it sound... how can I live? BTW, Covid lockdowns made me worse than ever.